"Attachment Disorder is developed when children . . . do not form a trusting bond in infancy and early childhood. A lack of trust generates feelings of aloneness, being different, pervasive anger, and an inordinate need for control. A trusting bond is essential in continued personality and conscience development, and serves as the foundation for future intimate relationships."
Reprinted from Attachment, Trauma, and Healing, by Terry M. Levy and Michael Orlans"Most professionals who work with and study the process of bonding and attachment agree that a child's first eighteen to thirty-six months are critical. It is during this period that the infant is exposed in a healthy situation to love, nurturing, and life-sustaining care. The child learns that if she has a need, someone will gratify that need, and the gratification leads to the development of her trust in others."
Prior to gratification,
frustration is heightened. It is during this frustration that
the foundation for delaying gratification is laid. This is critical
learning with lifelong implications.
During the delay after her first cry, the infant may become increasingly
angry or rageful; her state of arousal is high. it is at this
point that she is receptive to her parents' gratifying efforts,
which include touching, smiling, rocking, feeding, changing, making
eye contact, and vocal soothing. Presenting a valuable opportunity
for attaching between parent and child, these acts allow the child
to begin to trust that her parents can and will care for her and
protect her. The cycle is repeated thousands of time in the first
two years of an infant's life, forming the foundation of every
other developmental task of human life. This is not to suggest
that later events will have no bearing on the course of a person's
life. Instead, it is to say that without the successful completion
of this cycle at some point, it is doubtful that an individual's
growth will proceed normally without specific therapeutic intervention.
Failure to complete and repeat the bonding cycle leads to serious
problems in the formation of the child's personality which, in
most cases, will have lifelong implications. When the bonding
cycle is interrupted problems arise in these areas:
- Social/behavioral development
- Cognitive development
- Emotional development
- Cause-and-effect thinking
- Conscience development
- Reciprocal relationships
- Parenting
- Accepting responsibility
The child who has experienced abuse,
neglect . . . has a limited range of emotional responses. She
frequently attempts to disconnect from her most uncomfortable
feelings specifically, sadness and fearfulnessbecause they make
her feel vulnerable and weak. In trying to escape these feeling,
she often heightens her arousal with anger.
Anger for her feels strong. It is familiar. Better still, it acts
as an emotional anesthesia. Anger is a friend that can be called
upon whenever the child is feeling weak or powerless, or sad.
We have focused primarily on early neglect and abuse, because
that is the most damaging. A child who is abused after the age
of three will be traumatized, and may have problems as a result,
but she will not be hurt in the same way as a younger child. Once
developmental progress has been made, it cannot be undone. It
is the abuse and neglect that occur during the early stages of
personality formation that cause the deepest damage. Imagine the
stability of a skyscraper built without a foundation and you begin
to see the fragility of a child denied the right to a healthy
start.
Attachment: Biology, Evolution and Environment
Attachment as a Context for Development: Challenges and Issues
What is Attachment? Kathleen Moss (ATTACh)
|
|
|
